Day 1 fasting, I'm going to break it on Saturday if I must when I'm over at Mike (new boyfriend's) house, we're going to hang around at his house for a while then go see Persuit of Happiness with a friend or two of his. Should be fun, but I do kinda wish he didn't have to drag a friend along ^_^;;

I did horribly yesterday though, I don't even want to know how many cals. Luckily I'm still 137.2, and that was with a colon full of shit that's now out of my system. It's really sad, even when I binge I actually process so little that I maintain my weight. Fasting should do me some good.

Day 2 fasting, and I'm actually doing well! *gasp!* 200 cals tomorrow, I'll work out what I feel like tomorrow and update.

In the meantime, at the very least I have a guy who's really really interested in me. I think I will go out with him, I like him ^^ Hehe, he asked me if I would ever consider going out with him last night and was really happy when I said that I probably would, so I dunno if that means I already am or what but I'll find out sooner or later :) Anyway, time for work, more later today.

Day two fasting. Diong well so far, but the day's only just started. 200 cals tomorrow, I wonder what I'll eat...

Oh, and I think I have a new boyfriend <3 At the very least I have a guy who's really, really, really interested in me ^_^

Ok, there's no way I'm not fasting over the weekend. Mostly because I have work and no one will notice. But I heard about something that lets you lose like 3 pounds every cycle, I'm going to try a 200 diet. Essentially you eat 200 cals, then fast for 2 days. I always feel like a fatty for eating anything, so I think this just might work...

I woke up and was 139.0 and was really mad because I've not lost even 1/10 of a pound so I binged as punishment for being a fatass... ironic isn't it? Anyway, I've got a weekend of fasting ahead of me.


Oh, and in other news I might have a new boyfriend soon. Cool ^^

More recipes!

Egg Substitute for 2 eggs, prepared, or 2 egg whites (egg sub has slightly less cals)
1 (16 oz) can pumpkin
Splenda packets to taste, at least 16 will be needed. The recipe calls for 1/2 cup sugar, 1/4 cup maple syrup, and 1 tbsp. molasses
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground ginger
8 oz soymilk/ricemilk (I use Light Silk, 70 cals/cup)

You just make it like pumpkin pudding (ie pumpkin pie filling) and bake it 30-40 minutes at 350. It's about 240 cals for the entire recipe!

Hot and Sour Soup
4 green onions, chopped
3 tbsp freshly grated ginger root
5 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup vinegar
2 tbsp cornstarch
1/4 cup minced garlic, or a few cloves of it
1/2 - 1 cup chopped water chestnuts
1 sweetener packet
cayenne pepper or red pepper flakes to taste

That looks yummy, I haven't tried it yet but will soon hopefully :) It's about 70 cals per serving, and that recipe makes about 4 1-cup servings. I'm not quite sure how, but I would presume you need to add water to it at some point, the recipe never specified.

Those are the recipes of the day, I wanna try them both... no ingredients though and I'm sticking as much as I possibly can to fruit/veggies/egg whites only until I'm down to at least 120, if it works well until I'm at my short-term goal of 110.

Hot Sour Soup, the low-cal way :)

4 chopped green onions
3 tbsp. fresh grated ginger
5 tbsp low sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp. cornstarch
1/4 cup minced garlic
1/2 - 1 cup water chestnuts
red pepper flakes or cayenne powder to taste
1 packet splenda/sweetener, if desired

Looks really yummy, I'm gonna try it soon.

Here's 2 good websites for some relatively low-cal and as close to fat-free as you can get recipes. Not to mention there's tons of improvements that can be made upon their recipes to make them even lower-cal :)

www.fatfree.com - the vegetarian one, has eggs/milk/animal products but no meats

www.fatfreevegan.com - the vegan one, also seems to me to be the higher-cal one

Ok, I've done bad today, but tomorrow I'm on for day 2 of my 6-4-2 diet. I'll eat between 300 and 400 cals, and I'm also going to do a natural foods only diet for a while (ie until Christmas). Natural foods to me = fruit/veggies and egg whites, but I'll allow sugar-free jell-o as well because it's pretty much just protein. Here's what I've got for tomorrow:

4 carrots (105 cals)
6 stalks celery (40 cals)
3 egg whites (50 cals)
2 oranges (small ones) (90 cals)
1 packet diet hot cocoa (25 cals)
3 packets sugar free cider mix (45 cals)

Total: 355 cals

Perfect, and it's really a lot of food too. Hopefully that'll help me lose :) It'll do more than grits will I'm sure, I've had ENOUGH of them. Stupid fattening foods keeping me a fat disgusting sack of lard...

Oh, as for pictures, here's one of my body now:



Ugh, it's GROSS ><;

I kicked myself in the ass for using fasting as a weight loss option, and I'm not doing that because I know all too well what it leads to. I'm doing a reverse 246 instead, I just did the 6 at breakfast because I'm not going to eat after 6 pm anymore and I won't get home until 6 pm today. So I had one huge breakfast.

I weighed 138.6 today instead of 136.6 like yesterday, but I don't really care, mostly because I can still feel a lot of yesterday's food in my gut. I'm not eating at all after 6 pm anymore because it'll make my weigh-ins first thing in the morning more accurate.

So yeah, I hope I haven't gained, but I doubt I've lost either. On the plus side, I have no more smoothie ingredients and won't be eating any more smoothies, and I also have less grits left. I'll leave the popcorn for now, my dad likes to have popcorn too and would probably just buy more if and when we run out. So that's futile to try to eat entirely.

Foods today:
-1 tablespoon peanut butter (95)
-1 serving grits (140)
-1 smoothie; 1 banana, 1 cup strawberries, 1/2 scoop protein powder (200)
-2 egg whites (30)
-2 packets diet hot cocoa (saving one for when I get home, fluids aren't retained overnight like food is)
Total: 530

Bad for just 1 meal, but decent for a day. 400 or less tomorrow.

Her head looks so big on her body, it's incredible how thin she is.


I envy her legs SO much right now...

A bad yet good day today. I DDRed off 1100 cals, but ate 2007. The binge was intentional though... for two reasons
1) I have work tomorrow and plan on fasting all day then and on Thursday, so I need the energy for then
2) I wanted the things I binged on out of my house, namely the hominy grits, popcorn, and bananas

I did ok for wanting them out of my house, the grits I don't usually binge on so they're sort of safe, the popcorn don't eat often but usually binge on it when I do (120-180 cals of popcorn is my norm, which is horrible). I have 3/4 of the package of grits left, and 1/2 of the package of popcorn, which is an improvement from all but 1/2 of a serving of grits and 3/4 of the popcorn bag left. I have 1 banana left down from 5, which disgusts me that I ate that much but leaves me feeling a little better because they're at least gone and not coming back.

I did the second reason because yesterday I had a HUGE craving for puffed rice of any kind and ravaged my kitchen for like an hour just going "Where are the rice cakes, where's the puffed rice? I want some NOW!!!", only to realize what I was doing and to be grateful I didn't have any left. I'm slowly taking away all of my snack foods, and only leaving the inconvenient ones to eat.

Fruits and veggies I never crave, even though I love them, so I'll have them a lot and stock my kitchen full of them because I know I'll never binge unless it's a banana. I don't know what it is about bananas, but I just love them too much. I'll probably buy them, but only like 1 or 2 at a time and plan out when I'm going to have them.

---------
In better news, I've gone from yesterday's 139.4 pounds to 136.6. Happy days :) I can still hope for 130 or less by Christmas if I'm actually losing again. So I'll hope and try for 130 by Christmas and maybe like 127 by New Year's. I WILL get down to a new all-time low by Valentine's day, I know I can ^_^



Oh in non-ED related news, I've been talking to Mike still, a guy that was hitting on me in a department store last Sunday, and I like the guy, he's cool :) Not like bf material, but still cool.

Well here's tomorrow's plan, starting with foods:
-1 bowl sf jell-o, 20 cals total(generic variety is only 20 cals to the bowl), spread throughout the day
-2 small oranges, because I really need to eat them before more of them rot, 90 cals for both
-1/2 serving hominy grits 65 cals
Unlimited cal-free drinks (ie diet pop/tea/water)
Up to 1 sf Red Bull energy drink if I'm feeling weak or dizzy and really need an energy boost, 10 cals
Total: 185 cals with the Red Bull, 175 without

Exercise plan: 750 cals minimum exercised off, as I'll have all day it'll probably be more like 1500. I think I'll be able to at least hit over 1000 easily. I'll probably get up at about 9 and exercise until maybe 2 or 3, which is plenty of time for at least 1000 cals if I'm taking my time, probably more.

I wonder if I'll lose any weight between today and tomorrow... I can hope :)

Well I'm doing all right today. Here's how it's going:
-1 small banana, 1/2 scoop protein powder, and 1 cup frozen strawberries in a smoothie
-2 gluten-free buckwheat waffles
-lots and lots of water and diet pop
Total cals for the day: 390

I DDRed off 750 cals today, so I'm doing all right I think. Maybe I'll do more when I get home. I should, it'll boost my metabolism before I go to bed so I'll be burning cals all night long :)

Oh, since I deleted my first posts, here are my stats:
Height: 5'7"
CW: 139.4 (GROSS!)
LW: 125
HW: 180
Goal: 110, then I re-evaluate how much thinner I want to get, I may or may not shoot for 100 or less
I classify myself as an ED-NOS because I don't have the low BMI that would classify myself as anorexic. I don't purge, even if I do have my binge days, and don't use laxatives or diuretics becase I know they don't work, and the idea of purging and trying to avoid consequences for having eaten that I really do deserve for having eaten the crap to begin with doesn't appeal. I'll update probably every few days with progress, etc.. I'll post some pics eventually, but prepare to be sick when you see how much of a fat whale I am now. Maybe I'll post when I'm down to like 120 and then show the current "before" pics... Eventually anyway, not right now.